2 weeks ago I was in a group coaching call with one of my favorite creators on X, Kieran Drew.

During the call, he was roasting the hooks we wrote for our long forms and threads.

Here’s a snippet of when he was roasting my thread. 

The first line was an absolute BANGER!

• it opens a loop

• Lots of implied benefits

• Easy to start with (low effort)

Then followed up with some authority and proof (numbers) that showed I knew what I was talking about.

I’ll be honest with you, I thought I had nailed the hook.

Until Kieran read the hook and pointed out a major flaw in my hook. 

But before that, let me tell you some of the notes he gave me about the hook (and some of the tweets).

The first was that I was over-promising on the first line to the point that it was hard to live up to my promise. 

Think about it. When someone tells you that there’s a habit that you can start today, with $0, and change your life.

Now that’s a BIG promise that I have to deliver.

And if I don’t deliver on the promise then I’ll look like a liar (not good).

The second point was about the follow-up tweet (the tweet that comes after the main tweet).

The point of the follow-up tweet is to either:

1. Give them a reason to keep reading

2. Provide extra clarity and context about the topic

3. Write a personal experience that is related to the topic

I was confused about which one I should write first.

I ended up settling for the first point and then moved on to write about a personal experience.

Which turned out to be fine.

Since I gave someone a reason to keep reading the thread and then pulled it back to me and gave some context about how I started (meeting the reader where they are).

By now, you might be wondering what was the BIG problem I made, right?

Well, it was “Burying your lead”.

Kieran immediately said it. Without giving it a second thought.

You should’ve started with “500+ miles….”

That way even if the reader doesn’t read the thread they’ll go “Oh cool, Hussain achieved X”.

But the more I think of it, the more I realize how big of a mistake it was.

Cuz look, numbers force the reader to stop scrolling (that’s a good thing) and numbers are a form of proof and authority.

The more you appear like an authority figure the more people would listen to you and take your advice.

Takeaway

If you can start your hook with numbers and achievements (personal or client’s) then start with that.

Don’t try to come up with a smart hook. Trying to sound smart will only confuse the reader. On social media that’s not a good thing.

Cuz if you confuse them, you lose them.

There’s so much more I can say, but then this will be too long.

Thank you for reading.

See you next week.

- Hussain

PS:

starting next month I’m opening up 5 more slots for the mentorship program.

I’ll hand-hold you and teach you how to write online and gain clarity on your niche and personal brand so you can gain more followers and newsletter subscribers.

If you’re interested in learning more, book a call here.